Мае прыпеўкі, змешчаныя ў кнізе “Карп у футры”

 

Мае прыпеўкі, змешчаныя ў кнізе “Карп у футры”

 

Якімовіч, А. М. Карп у футры : апавяданні, вершы, прыпеўкі / Аляксей Якімовіч. – Мінск : Беларусь, 2021. – 167 с.

 

Антывірусныя прыпеўкі

 

                                                               За мяжою я была.

                                                               Бяды вірус нарабіў:

                                                               Добры домік “Для пацехі”

                                                               Ён аднойчы зачыніў.

 

                                                               -- Галасуйце за мяне! –

                                                              Папрасіў аратар.

                                                              Ну а я яму сказала:

                                                              -- Купі рэспіратар!

 

                                                              -- Скажы, мая мілая,

                                                              Дзе ўсю ноч гуляла?

                                                              -- Мяне вірус затрымаў,

                                                              З ім я прастаяла.

 

                                                              Цалуй, цалуй, мілы,

                                                              Адчуй маю ласку.

                                                              Мёдзікам намазала

                                                              Вірусную маску.

 

                                                              Мяне вірус даганяў,

                                                              А я уцякала.

                                                              Наваліўся б на мяне,

                                                              Калі б пачакала.

 

                                                              Калі з хаты я выходжу,

                                                              Прасам маску гладжу.

                                                              Свайго мілага люблю,

                                                              З вірусам не здраджу.

 

                                                              Забалела галава

                                                              І ноччу не спіцца:

                                                              Адварочваецца муж:

                                                              Віруса баіцца.

 

                                                              Вірус у госці завітаў.

                                                              Я яго прымала:

                                                              Тры гадзіны за сталом

                                                              Хлоркай частавала.

                                                                                       2020 год.

 

                                                             Не чапляйся, вірус,

                                                             Не буду з табою:

                                                             За два дні ты пастарэў,

                                                             Ужо з барадою.

 

                                                             Вады ў ванну напусціла

                                                             І палезла мыцца.

                                                             Вірус дзверы адчыніў.

                                                             Ён прыйшоў пабрыцца.

 

                                                             Я памыла рукі,

                                                             Я памыла ногі.

                                                             Лекара чакаю

                                                             З хуткай дапамогі.

 

                                                             Быў у мяне настаўнік,

                                                             Быў у мяне артыст.

                                                             Цяпер абнімае

                                                             Інфекцыяніст.

 

                                                             З мілым не сумуем,

                                                             Хоць не сустракаемся.

                                                             Мы каханнем разам з ім

                                                             У айнлайн займаемся.

 

                                                            Закахаўся ты ў мяне,

                                                            Падхапіў інфекцыю.

                                                            Дык цалуй, цалуй хутчэй,

                                                            Не чытай мне лекцыю.

 

                                                            Не чарні, мілы, мяне,

                                                            Не рабі як сажу.

                                                            Калі будзеш раўнаваць,

                                                            Вірусам намажу.

 

                                                            Раней з мілым я гуляла

                                                           У парку, дзе акацыі.

                                                           Цяпер з Муркаю сяджу

                                                           Я на ізаляцыі.

 

                                                           -- Ведаю, мой мілы:

                                                           Ходзіш да Параскі.

                                                           -- Каханнем не займаемся:

                                                           Шыем людзям маскі.

                                                                                     2020 год.

 

                                                             У касцях ламота

                                                             І у пот кідае.

                                                             А вірус калготкі

                                                             Мае прымярае.

 

                                                             На паляначцы сунічнай

                                                             Ягады збірала.

                                                             Да паўдня вірус прасіў –

                                                             Яму не давала.

 

                                                             Віна вірусу прынесла.

                                                             -- З півам пі, саколік!

                                                             Ну а вірус заявіў:

                                                             -- Я не алкаголік!

 

                                                             Прыйшоў мілы і тлумачыць:

                                                             -- Вірус добры, хлопец свой.

                                                            Я нарэшце зразумела:

                                                            Не сябруе з галавой.

 

                                                            Я да мамачкі іду,

                                                            Вестку мамачцы нясу:

                                                            Мілы мой зусім здурнеў:

                                                            Купіў вірусу касу.

 

                                                            Мілы п’яны прыцягнуўся,

                                                            Прама ў вочы кажа:

                                                            -- Віруса я запрасіў,

                                                            Разам з намі ляжа.

 

                                                           Вечарам мой мілы

                                                           Прыйшоў з магазіна.

                                                           -- Хлеба, солі ты купіў?

                                                           -- Там адна вакцына!

 

                                                            Ззаду вірус падышоў,

                                                            Дакрануўся да пляча.

                                                            Я не разгубілася:

                                                            Уваліла бухача.

 

                                                            Я у хаце не сяджу:

                                                            Каратэ займаюся.

                                                            Калі, вірус, падыдзеш,

                                                            З табой пазмагаюся.

 

                                                           Памылілася у вёсцы

                                                           Вясною бабуля:

                                                           З морквай вірус пасадзіла,

                                                           Думала: цыбуля.

 

                                                           Не ўсміхайся, вірус,

                                                           Не рабі мне вочкі.

                                                           Ніколі не ўбачыш

                                                           Мяне без сарочкі.

 

                                                           Вірус, вірус-горасей,

                                                           Не расказвай казкі.

                                                           Да вакцыны едзь хутчэй,

                                                           Каціся кілбаскай.

 

                                                           Мяне вірус запыніў,

                                                           Дзе расце асіна.

                                                           -- Уцякай! – яму сказала. –

                                                           Я твая вакцына.

                                                              

                                                           Мілы мне не здраджвае,

                                                           Выгінае спіну.           

                                                           Я ад віруса яму

                                                           Увяла вакцыну.

 

                                                            Была маладая –

                                                            Зваў “жоначка Марыя”.

                                                            Цяпер называе

                                                            Мяне “пандэмія”.

                                                                                         2020 год.